You can never really stop loving or want to love because when it’s in the right place, right moment, right person it’s the best feeling in the world. When you’re in a relationship, and it’s good, even if nothing else is in your life at the moment isn’t right, you feel like your whole world is completely made.
I can admit I fucked up. One to many times, but shit I fucked up to many times to not learn from my mistake. I tried to push myself from doing better than good but seems like It wasn’t even enough. I wish I would have tried harder in school instead of failing my freshman year. I knew i could have too because So far everything else is good BUT school.
In reality yeah you’re right, but sometimes when you’re in love; you love that one person for who they are despite what they’ve done wrong to you or how they’ve treated to you. but that’s what love is about, it’s what it does to you. It’s not about who you deserve, it’s about who you need, who you want, and most importantly who you love.
starting tonight, i think i should do a daily routine. time to start working out and stop eating so much.
I admit that. In so many ways too, not just relationship wise but throughout my whole life. I now realized that with so many expectations and guidelines to follow that all i really needed was a helping hand, but i never looked for it because somehow i didn’t have too. It was right besides me the whole time my family. I never listened or took advice from them and I do regret that, but I couldn’t thank them enough for all the hard work and support they tried to give me. I’ve never regretted fucking up so bad before, I mean looking back high school is the main thing that will get you through life and college of course, but you can still do big things out of high school maybe 2 years in college a local one, all of these could do big changes and if only i didn’t screw around and mess up. Although, i don’t even regret it.
I’m use to it by now, it’s okay, I’ll be fine.
I wish that I had more motivation during the last years, but somehow no one motivated me enough to do so I only got yelled and bitched at - but that wasn’t motivation it just drove me away to do more stupid shit. I needed someone to tell me from right and wrong but no one cared enough to do so.
I understand where everyone is coming from. Maybe it wasn’t a mistake but maybe it was. You’ll never fully understand why she’s like that, maybe something happened in her past that makes her that way. Has anyone thought of it like that. No, didn’t think so. Yeah her decisions were a bit grimy and disturbing but shit, we’ve all done stupid things maybe not as bad, but right now you’re not doing anything to change any situation, calling her names like a whore, slut, or wishing and hoping she would get an STD or AIDS will not change anything. It’s enough as it is. She has to walk down the halls of her school, labeled as a whore. Imagine if you were in that position, at least she can admit up to her problem. Besides half of the females that are talking shit have done worse things.
I wish I had the nerve to be able to walk around with a smile on my face. everyday I wear a smile that’s hardly even real. I don’t know how to be happy anymore and that’s what really hurts. I wish that things could be easier than this because everyday I’m lying to everyone and myself.